"Another thing that happened this week is that my middle son finally found a place of his own to rent and has moved all of his belongings out of the house. Whilst I'm happy for him and hope he is happy in his new home, what I found difficult about it all was the fact that he still feels very angry about being kicked out, would not allow me to hug him, would not tell me where he is moving to and some of the locks he gave me I classified as contemptuous. Once again I feel blamed for the predicament he finds himself in. That said the sense of peace & calm in the household outweighs any guilt I feel.

He has yet to realise that his behaviour fuelled by alcohol crossed a definite line with me. I had the safety of myself and my 15-year-old son to consider. One day I hope he will realise the consequences of his behaviour and become a wiser person because of it.

That said I still love my middle son, it's his behaviour that became intolerable. No rational person would put up with the behaviour that I had to put up with and whilst he gave me no pleasure in kicking him out I know it was the right thing to do. The problem is as a lone parent you are always questioning whether or not you're doing the right thing for fear of being judged by others on the periphery who don't know your circumstances. I am still keeping lines of communication open should he wish to make contact.

As a consequence of my middle son moving out, I was obliged to inform the Council who rapidly replied that I am now liable to pay bedroom tax, because we live in a three bedroomed property (social housing) and therefore have an extra room. I have asked the council to look at the decision again because my eldest 24-year-old son doesn't have a home of his own and is obliged to live in barracks on an RAF base in Scotland because of his job. He needs a room to come home to when on leave and the council seem to think it's not an issue. To me it is a form of hidden homelessness because he wouldn't choose to live on base if he had somewhere else to stay. It's just that its 378 miles to the airbase so commuting is out of the question obvious reasons. I hope the council sees sense at their unjust ruling.

So bang goes my £150 council tax rebate. If it turns out that I have to pay bedroom tax I will have to pay an extra £11.25 per week to the Council. That means I will be no better off as a result of council tax assistance.

Not only that, but the break in paying my DWP social fund loan has come to an end also even though the Covid pandemic is far from over which means that £10 per week from my employment support allowance is deducted to repay it. Obviously I don't mind paying it because I did take a on the lawn knowingly and willingly, but personally I would have preferred to have continued paying it to reduce the debt. That was an option never offered to me; they just did it anyway."

Meg T
Oct 5, 2020

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