{ "tags": [ "NsTpxCLRTfJnELv5iBCu", "eRA2knvIYcYOgGvC0k6r", "EKCJbMeUQJb8hJ90jXtB" ], "created": 1598743032975, "updated": 1611925725470, "createdBy": "AfFOmTZWGrVKbCC0IuLGHYhmlhp2", "text": "I can honestly say this has been one of my weeks from hell. The main problem for me has been that the relationship with my 22-year-old has deteriorated. Tensions, as he's been trying to make the leap from adolescence into adulthood, have been simmering for a while. He is not one for talking & bottles things up. The first time you know that something is wrong is when he explodes at you. Unfortunately, this involves him smashing the house up usually my stuff - never his. I've lost count of the times this has happened over the years and with hindsight it's been escalating. It has escalated further as he has been using alcohol increasingly to cope with the disappointment he feels with the way his life is going. And taking it out on me and his siblings in the process. \nThe upshot of this is that last weekend he came home rip roaringly blind drunk. He was threatening to kill me because he felt that I was responsible for all his woes. My oldest son who is staying for a while before he returns to base in Scotland tried to help him and tried to stop him. This ended up with my middle son attacking my eldest son and assaulting him. I was forced to kick him out and call the police as I need to keep myself and my youngest son safe, even more so as spinal surgery is imminent & I wouldn't be able to defend myself, or if he were to push me in a temper, he could unwittingly cause catastrophic injury. \nI've been in similar situations before and although I should feel upset, I ended up feeling empty inside. Not even numb less than numb. I know he's all right because his dad is helping him out to get a place of his own. I love my son but his actions became increasingly difficult to bear and ultimately unjustifiable. He has crossed too many lines too many times and for that he has sacrificed his family, for now at least. That is very sad. I will always forgive him but he cannot it be part of my home until he's worked through the issues that he is struggling with. But the irony of history repeating is not lost on me - it's uncanny how things have worked out when i went through the same with his Dad. And this has nothing to do with Covid19, i don't think. But him being on furlough, unable to meet his girlfriend or go out with his mates has had a massive impact on him, when you think about it. Such a shame he chose such an unhealthy way to deal with his issues.", "updatedBy": "AfFOmTZWGrVKbCC0IuLGHYhmlhp2", "extract": true, "user": "5LEyZfrvHFQwIct0kx57hauHOu52", "alias": "Meg T", "random": 31, "type": "diary", "transcribed": false, "objectID": "XfMks3237B8WGV04LqNX" }