{ "type": "diary", "tags": [ "x8sRKvNILaRESuvP8TkJ", "rYRaGJHckg4JC3dciB8U", "8o2Y49rU7fVcYSvx7gl9", "rxIZylCneOYSlhDIh4tG" ], "moderated": false, "diary": { "body": "So it is currently 2:30am, this is the 3rd time in 5 days that I love found myself sat on the sofa in the dark while the rest of the family is asleep. I love Xmas it’s my favourite time of year but this year feels different. I’ve got a big cloud over my head and I have no idea how I’m going to make this Xmas special. I’ve already explained the kids (the best I can) that there won’t be many presents to open... I’m not even sure how I’m going to do Xmas dinner yet. It’s been 3 weeks since I did a food shop and I’ve got too many choices to make for the best for my family. Do I put us on strict rations for the next few weeks in order to have a decent Xmas dinner? Do I put us on strict rations in order for the kids to have a few things to open? (My son still believes in Santa and he’s got it into his head if he’s naughty he won’t get anything). Do I forget it altogether and do the monthly food shop? It’s times like this that being a parent is horrendously hard, one way or another there is going to be disappointment as a parent that’s hard to stomach especially at Xmas. My children don’t deserve this! I've tried so hard and found myself a job which I start in 2 days, just to try and boost our income but I won’t get paid until the end of January. The kids have been poorly for the last 3 weeks with various illnesses they’ve brought home from school and nursery (they’re picking EVERYTHING up again because of being locked down for so long)….. tired, lost, stressed, depressed... that’s my week in a nutshell and there’s no light at the end of the tunnel just yet", "uploads": [], "mood": 0 }, "auditedBy": "VGUFPe3nFNgil5NsKp6svTSFl5x1", "privacy": 2, "created": 1638755101757, "updated": 1641901896380, "published": 1641901877098, "audited": 1641901877098, "featuredBy": "VGUFPe3nFNgil5NsKp6svTSFl5x1", "user": "jx9ddiC1hkgZam6yxqJEgR71OUW2", "updatedBy": "VGUFPe3nFNgil5NsKp6svTSFl5x1", "publishedBy": "VGUFPe3nFNgil5NsKp6svTSFl5x1", "featured": 1641901882654, "alias": "Lola P", "random": 39, "objectID": "3up0XwXsWODUWnbMhlEy" }