"So excited and anxious for tomorrow. Checked my bank and the payment is pending, so I know it'll be there. I'll be up at the crack of dawn paying bills. Then a little shopping. Been almost obsessively checking deals online for some last minute bits for the kids Christmas (as this is last payday til after Christmas). I'm a tad anxious as since I put items in my online shopping baskets on a couple sites, they've since sold out. So worried about what will actually be available to buy tomorrow and what won't. I was gonna buy all the biscuits n sweet from wilko, cos they have a pay weekly option I could've used child benefit for, but they've run out of most items since yesterday. I've got no choice but to stick to the budget, if out of stock then can't swap for higher priced option just gotta go without. Not the end of the world. Really want to get some lindt chocolates (our Christmas tradition sweet, mint chocolate for me and little man, white chocolate for little lady and little man - she only ears white chocolate lol). Those are since out of stock on wilko, but currently on sale with amazon, so 🤞 tomorrow we can grab a box of each. If not no big, it's just some chocolate afterall. Just kids have missed so much this year, I really want to make it as special for them as I can. I remember our first ever Christmas in this house, after leaving the ex, so was kids first ever Christmas as it'd be banned with their dad. I'd had nothing then, barely furnished the house as we'd had to leave everything behind when we fleed ex. But friends all chipped in and we had an awesome year. Children were so happy and surprised bless them. This will be our third Christmas here, I'll make it special still. So proud of my kiddies for how far they've come, since the ex. They fill me with such joy and pride. Kids have been hard at work all weekend cleaning the house, with my help naturally, ready to put decorations up tomorrow. We've also had more sit down meals this weekend. Over first lockdowns we got a tad sick of each other 24/7, so would find ourselves eating by the telly or on our own, needing the space (eating in front of other people is a struggle for me anyway, so during lockdowns, when I was already so stressed from UC and food aid and such, I really struggled to eat at the table). But kids said they missed those family meals, so we've resumed those, had such fun conversations. Glad we restarted that. I'll need to work on getting used to eating in front of the kids again, not their fault, one of my mental health quirks. Mostly just starting to feel a little nervously excited in general. Christmas is coming and sure it won't be as fancy or as adventurous as we're used too, we still have each other and that's priceless. "