his brings me too the second reason I'm sad today. Today marks the last day I took my kids out for a family fun day. Precovid our birthday plans would consist of a day trip to anywhere the birthday person wanted to go, so for my daughter that was normally soft play followed by pancakes, for my son it was often the beach with picnic. For me it would be swimming, water is my happy place and where my flashbacks and dark memories can't reach me. So last year I took my kids swimming and we ate in the little onsite cafe. The first lockdown happened less than a week later, we've not been out as a family for anything other than the odd grocery shop or stroll around the local area since. A while year with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Distractions are important for helping to manage mental health symptoms and as part of healing from dark memories by building new memories. Feelings and memories of being trapped, locked up and isolated are much harder to process when one is in a lockdown.